Blame

In some respects, this is a difficult book to write. Aside from dealing with people's painful memories, there is the aspect of "blame." Something went terribly wrong that night, costing 85 people their lives and injuring hundreds more. It was an accident, but someone did something wrong to cause it - at the very least, as far as my research thus far shows, the engineer was going too fast, looking for signals that were not there and may have been confused as to where he was and whose rules he was operating under. But added to this is the question of who decided not to put up the yellow signal that would have made all the difference?

Whenever something like this happens, we want someone to blame - often, someone to sue. Yet I find myself shying away from using the word "blame" when it comes to engineer Joe Fitzsimmons. There's a connotation of a degree of gross negligence that I have not found. Was he "responsible" for what happened? Yes - his actions and decisions contributed towards the wreck. But there's not evidence to date that he was doing anything "negligent." He didn't show up for work drunk, for example. He made a mistake - we all do. Unfortunately, the consequences of his mistake were great.

It's also difficult because he, like many other key players, are long since dead and cannot defend themselves. Nevertheless, this is a story that should be told and told as honestly as possible. My point is to neither vilify nor excuse. It is my hope that perhaps my work might give some sense of closure for families who still feel the emotional impacts of that night.

Among them is Kelly C. from Virginia whose grandfather was among those killed. She was born after the event, but her family has obviously been effected by the loss and she has done research herself into the circumstances. I asked her about Fitzsimmons, trying to get at how the family felt about him. Her answer was interesting and a lesson in forgiveness:

This poor man and his family had to live with this ordeal every single day, people pointing the finger at him. How terrible a feeling of guilt that he lived with even though he did everything to ensure the safety of the situation. I really wanted to find his family and give them some sort of comfort in the fact that my family held no ill-will towards him - it was an accident - the whole thing was in God's hands, as every act is. I just wanted to tell him that he is not to blame, he was made the fall-guy and what a damn shame [the PRR] could not fess up to the fact that they made the dreadful mistake.